Chapter 5
Rain on me
so I woke up at 4am to the not so gentle sound of rain. I left my window open and my bed is now wet. It’s what you might call a storm. It reminded me of a song. “Storms don’t last forever” Just those words together. That simple four words might just get you through. Btw I’m up at 5 am writing this thanks to my window being open.
So back to the story, my story I suppose, no let’s call it our story. Let’s skip some years. My partner at the time left me, and I have to put my hands up and own this one, I wasn’t the best bf in the end. A depressive, health anxiety ridden needy mess without a job doesn’t make for a good bf. So I went it alone for the first time in 3 years. My shield wasn’t there, my home. He was my home and he will remain anonymous. But I really can’t tell you how special that person is. I want to celebrate people in my life. No we don’t talk, but he is the kindest human I have met. Truly he was my little bit of glitter in the grey. I mean it’s a lot to dedicate a chapter to my ex but I kind of had to. He stuck by me through this.
In our happiest times which were many,
We sat in our flat in forest hill on a Sunday and just sit and laugh then we would walk to Dulwich and look at all the expensive houses we could never live in.
The reason I’m writing this is because I’m coming back to that quote.
: I remember one morning getting up at dawn, there was such a sense of possibility. You know, that feeling? And I remember thinking to myself: So, this is the beginning of happiness. This is where it starts.
Was that happiness? Being with him……….. I believe it’s the closest thing I’ve got. I wasn’t planning on this being about him, In fact it’s not about him, it’s about a time in my life where I was simply content. But not whole, not complete. But happy. So Thankyou anonymous man for showing me that men like you exist. You are rare. And I’m so happy you are happy.
But the sad news is post anonymous man is when round 2 really began………
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