You will be found

Chapter  1 

Peter pan

To begin some of us live a life where our biggest worry is when we are going to get our next ice cream for Others the worry is where are they gonna get there next meal from. Mine luckily was the ice cream, blissfully unaware of reponsibilites. Mental health in 1995 was two words we rarely found together. It was in later life some en vogue expression that meant you were weak.

Growing up I felt like Peter Pan. I felt like this was what life would be like forever. Live and Kicking on a Saturday, followed by superman with that one from desperate housewives. Not knowing why I got so excited when Clark transformed into this superhuman god. Later I found out I didn’t want to be him I wanted him to protect me and well you know the rest. Of course I felt different from other kids I spent hours watching films like Chitty chitty bang bang, Hunchback of Notre Dame, Gone with wind, Beaches and Breakfast at Tiffanys. Little did I know singing along to Out there from Hunchback, pretending to be truly scrumptious down the local beach and being Bette Midler in a tit sling would eventually become somewhat of my destiny.

School was a nightmare. I was that kid that was set  8 for everything and just all I could do was sing, act and dance also I loved writing stories. My outlet was Shanklin theatre. I felt accepted and I felt like I could breath. My mum took me kicking and screaming to Stagecoach as she knew sadly I wasn’t good at anything else. Stagecoach was  my playground where I played the tinman and got painted silver and had the worst bloody rash known to man. One reason I went is because my dear friend Megan Jones went. Megan is someone who I will dedicate a chapter to. But its not time yet.

I still felt like peter pan. Flying the sky dreaming of hope and living in the present. Little did I know the present wouldn’t become as enjoyable and sometimes hope would get lost along the way. This is my beginning, full of bad punctuation terrible grammar and a touch of narcissism. If you can handle these things please crarry on readin my blogs. Lets just say it aint gonna be boring huns. Unfiltered, candid and sordid. But all me.  Jamie Geoffrey Lionel Buckley me.

As I sit on the beach in sandown with a coffee in my hand I reflect and know it is time, its time to make a difference and share my story not on the insta platform, not on facebook but typing my raw emotions like some word jargin from a 1950’s farce. Enjoy and always remember you maybe browken but that’s ok. Its ok to be incomplete. It gives us somewhere to grow. We were once seeds waiting to follow the light, but sometimes flowers cant find the light as easy. But in the end we all have to bloom.  

“The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease for ever to be able to do it”

James Matthew Barrie